Category Archives: Halloween

Trick or Treat!

It’s the boy’s day today. Don’t expect too much out of me.

Spent the night reminding the children I was shepherding that they had to say “Trick or Treat” if they wanted a treat. While doing this I stumbled across more than a few houses with front porch lights on, and nobody home to answer the door.

Back in the day, we would have taken that as an invitation to be tricked; a job that we came equipped to do, on a general basis. Wax or soap for the windows. Toilet paper for the trees. Some of the more vicious pranks (which I never pulled myself) involved bags of dogshit being lit on fire on porches, for the owners to find and attempt to stomp out.

My uncle told me stories of a life size dummy that he created, and used as a prank for many years. Dropping it out of trees in front of pedestrians (the best ones were generally carrying groceries. The resultant explosion of foodstuffs when the bags were hurled into the air were always good for a laugh) dragged behind his car, or propped up in door ways to fall in on the homeowner when they answered the door.

Life was more fun then.

I was contemplating this when I came across one home with all the exterior lights on and a large notice pinned to the door:

“We do not celebrate Halloween, and we do not have any candy. Do not ring our doorbell.”

On the one hand I thought Idiot, just leave your lights off; but on the other I was contemplating the reaction that would have occured had previous rules of conduct concerning Halloween been inflicted upon them.

Next year I’m going to make up signs of my own, to pin to the doors of the spoil sports who leave their lights on when they have no intention to participate in festivities.

Attention: This is your Trick for failure to Treat.
Consider yourself properly TP’d and your windows soaped.
You are standing in a burning bag of dogshit.

Happy Halloween!

Probably get myself thrown in jail. Terroristic threats or something, I’m sure. It’s all in the name of good fun, right?